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More Good News…Bad News

September 26, 2017
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English is a great thing. All you have to do is change a single word and there is a new beginning. photo form yahoo

 

Hey Y’all,

 

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I usually start with bad news first so I can end on a positive note. photo from yahoo

 

Lets get to the good news first this week. The genius that said the world was going to end Saturday was wrong. Obviously, since I’m writing these words and you are reading them.

 

 

That concludes all of the good news so strap yourselves in for some non-stop, steady stream of bad news.

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I hate when the doctor says we need to talk. photo from yahoo

Jackleg failed prognosticator of invisible planets impacting Earth now says that his formula was wrong and the new date is 21 Oct. So you have been warned. My son has the same problem with math as that knucklehead pseudo-mathematician. My son’s 5th grade teacher is so tough that she actually expects him to do math AND get the right digits in the right order up to and including decimal points. It is outrageous what teachers expect these days. My son said we should cut the false-prophet of doom some slack because math is really hard. Okay, so I wont bring up Mr. “I’m looking for attention by saying the end is near” again.

 

More Bad news to share. Well most of it is news but it ends poorly so start preparing yourselves now. If you have a heart issue or are easily disturbed by graphic images, feel free to stop reading now.

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The legal department is happy now because you have been warned. photo from yahoo

This weekend was my 30th high school reunion. Because life is busy, I chose to only make the Friday night kick-off event of the reunion. It was a fun night catching up with all the old people. Honest disclosure, I haven’t changed a bit in the last thirty years. Yea, I know I am only about sixty pounds heavier than I was when I graduated and my hair has a tint of gray and my back hurts constantly and I walk with a limp and blah, blah, blah.

 

But I think I am the same person that I was thirty years ago except I have a couple of nickles to rub together now. Anyway, everyone else was old. I told my kids on Sunday that they need to take care of themselves, like I have, so they don’t look old at their reunion. Anyway, so we had a great time and it was fun. Some of those folks are now reading these words so please make sure you make them feel welcome because we don’t discriminate against anyone here. Especially old people.

 

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Glad I didn’t make this mistake. It was embarrassing not to remember some of the people there. Even with name tags, I was a lost ball in high weeds. photo from yahoo

 

I flew back home Saturday morning and should have been at home by 6:00 AM but there was fog at Huntington-Tri-State airport. So the flight crew took me to Columbus Ohio to wait for the fog to burn off. I rolled into the house at about 11:30 AM and I was one tired puppy because I had been awake for just over thirty-one hours straight. But that is what I was willing to endure to see my old school peeps.

 

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These guys are brave. photo from yahoo

 

You are probably asking what can keep a grown man awake and motivated to get home after that long without sleep? Normally, I would say the loving arms of my wife and smiles of the wonderful kids. But they were already gone about their busy day doing what they do. I was coming home to a devil dog and my newest best friend, Louie.

 

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Louie, my best and most expensive buddy ever. photo from yahoo

 

If you remember Louie from the last article. I found him wasting away in a museum. Using my friend, Billy’s social security number, I took out a small loan of about fourteen million dollars to free Louie from that gilded cage and give him new life as a loved member of the family.

 

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Louie in his old home. photo from yahoo

 

Now the shockingly bad news. Louie is dead.

 

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Louie after meeting Penelope. Maybe we can glue him back together. photo from yahoo

 

He was mauled to death by my wife’s vicious dog, Penelope.

 

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Who me? photo from rob akers

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I assigned the cat, Fluffy the job of watching Penelope from now on because she can’t be trusted. photo from rob akers

 

Sorry Billy, I tried to stop payment on the wire transfer and send Louie back in a box. I said that he was damaged in shipping. The museum sent in a brown truck. Guess they should have chosen purple.

 

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It took me a while to make the box look this bad. photo from yahoo

 

Until next time, keep on rockin!

From → life, Uncategorized

4 Comments
  1. Oh my gosh…that was hilarious! Thanks for the sunshine today. I’m still laughing…

  2. Linda permalink

    I love your posts. Did Penelope really do that?

    • Linda,

      As always, I am so excited when you stop by.

      Little Penelope has a history of taking certain liberties with soft and fluffy things like stuffed animals, decorative pillows, rocking chairs, and plants.

      But in this specific case, no. She is guilt free.

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