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The kids have taken control of the house…

August 16, 2017

Al knows more than what the weather in Iowa is. photo from yahoo.



Hey Y’all,


Shorter article tonight because I think it is very possible that I have lost control of my family. Of course, I am operating on the assumption that I had any control at all.


Last weekend, my wife was working and I was left in charge. Well, it went just about as well as you might expect. I was sitting on the couch, trying to watch television but I was constantly distracted by my daughter and her boyfriend. They were on the opposite couch, sitting just a little too close for comfort for this baby daddy.


My sweet, little innocent baby girl really is a fantastic little woman but she really doesn’t make the best decisions when it comes to boys. The current boyfriend, is rough around the edges. He refuses to listen. He is not happy unless he is playing in the dirt. He can’t hold is bladder and he hates baths. He will act right until you turn your back on him then he is pushing the boundaries.  If he was my son, I would be so proud because he is just like his old man. But my daughter, is my precious sweetie and I wasn’t taking my eyes of this boy for a second.


To make things worse, his parents went out of town for a couple of days and they didn’t trust him to be alone in the house. Being the loving woman, that my wife is, she agreed that he could stay with us while they were gone. I didn’t approve but I was overruled. Then she made the mistake of thinking she could actually go to work and leave me in charge.


photo from yahoo.


I know you can see how this is not going well. My other kids were strangely silent so I went to investigate. I looked all over for them and when I went into the basement, they jumped out of the shadows to scare me! My son had some glow in the dark silly putty and they made scary faces. We joked about it for a while and then I remembered my cute teen was upstairs with that good for nothing, one tracked mind boy.



Nothing says fun like a dark basement, glow in the dark silly putty and a chicken for a Dad. photo from rob akers


I bounded up the stairs and get what I caught them doing? Apparently, that disrespectful boy was acting in an inappropriate manner towards my baby. She is like her Mama and she doesn’t take any gruff from a insolent guy. Penelope put Rocco back in his place.



My son says that “Penelope is savage.” Rocco found that out first hand. photo form rob akers


That’s my girl!


Satisfied that Penelope had everything under control, I went back to the office and got the babies out of the crib. This is the first time I am showing pictures of the twins. Oh, maybe I forgot to announce that we had twins. Well to be honest, my wife gave me a whole thirty seconds of “You can probably do it!”

Then she left me to deal a slow death of eleven years of hard labor. And now that they are in the world, I have discovered they are going to need a lot of effort to grow them into productive citizens of the family.


I wish I had known this back then. I would have just kept on watching television. photo from yahoo.


All I need to do is pay for these things. photo from yahoo.




First look at the twins. The one on the left ‘The Book of Lot.’ The one of  the right is ‘The Book of John.’ photo from rob akers



I had a friend edit it for me. Olivia teaches English to 6th graders. She gave me a D- on grammar. But she loves the concept. I am very good with her comments. Clocking in at 92,828 words, I am going through line by line incorporating her changes. photo by rob akers



The baby brother, is currently 130,149 words. He is a big boy and is out to a couple of beta readers. It feels good to be moving closer to world domination. photo by rob akers




I told you that Rocco can’t be trusted. He just looks guilty. But that sweet Penelope just wants to nap. photo by rob akers



Keep smiling! photo by rob akers



Until next time, keep on rockin!




From → life

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