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Is it safe to come out…?

April 6, 2017

They say it is safe to come out now, but I am not so sure. photo from yahoo.

 

 

Barry came out yesterday too. It is so hard to keep a secret so I am happy for him. But was I the only one that didn’t see it coming? photo from yahoo.

 

Hey Y’all,

 

I have been out of pocket for almost two months. Here is a quick update, training went relatively well. I still have a couple more events but have completed all of the big stuff and I am waiting on flying to be scheduled. Way back in February, when I met my sim partner we had a very brief discussion about what it would be like. Chris is a really good dude who worked his tail off during training. But he is a single seat, zipper suited, sun god whose vast experience mostly included dropping bombs on the sand people. At the time; I don’t think he believed me I told him that it would be one of the most painful and humiliating experiences in his professional life but if he agreed not to judge me, I promised not to judge him. Today, I promise you he is a believer.

 

The Sand People thought it was safe to come out since Chris is in training?” photo from yahoo.

 

Chris translated Luke’s words for me. “You dumb old bastard, your going to get me in trouble.” photo from yahoo.

 

I was asked by a friend to describe why training is so hard. The closest thing I could come up with is to think of your family doctor. I am sure they are wonderful, competent and a highly skilled general physician with many years of experience. Send that same person back to medical school in China. It is the same human body with the same organs but totally different language and procedures.  After thirteen years of working with my company, and twenty-six years of flying, I still found this training cycle to be a real kick in the pants.

 

I wanted to come out of hiding to help people. Maury said that was a lie too. photo from yahoo.

 

I have been thinking about buying a sports car after I finished training. I was thinking that I had earned it and that I was probably responsible enough to safely and legally operate it. All that changed this past Monday night. I was driving the second fastest production car in existence on a round trip finishing up a short three-day training cycle. You might be wondering what the second fastest production car is so let me break it down. It is the economy class rental car from Enterprise. By the way, the fastest production car in existence is your friend’s economy class rental car. Crossing the state line into West Virginia, I was pulled over for going 82 in a 65. The officer told me that the speed limit dropped when I crossed over from Kentucky but that he would have still pulled me over for 82 in a 70. I didn’t tell him that I knew the speed limit would drop and I had just slowed down five miles an hour. Yes, it is a fact that I am not mature enough for a Corvette.

 

The only reason a cop gets out of his car. Maury said this was the truth. photo from yahoo.

 

Which leads me to today which is my birthday. I have been racking my brain in the few free moments on suggestions for presents from my wife and kids. Last week they settled on the gift that keeps giving. Yard treatment from a local yard care company. My wife decided that I finally needed to have the best-looking yard in the neighborhood. To say that I was psyched would be an understatement. Thick, luscious, green grass that is free of weeds and needs to be mowed every three days is exactly what I have been dreaming of since I was twelve. My Dad had that kind of yard and when he made me mow it, I did my best to make it look bad so he would fire me from that chore.  The good news is that she had not signed the contract so when I told her I got a speeding ticket, she said that she was canceling the yard treatment and I would be paying the ticket as my birthday present. I want to thank Officer Kennedy, the City of Kenova and the State of West Virginia for getting me out of that. Happy Birthday to me!

 

Finally, tonight I have to head back to training and tempt fate. The last time I was in airplane on my birthday was April 6, 2003 in Iraq. On that birthday, I used up three of my nine lives on one flight and I promised myself that I would never fly on my birthday again as my present to myself. Well, I have to climb on board that airplane but since I am ridding in the back, I am going to use pilot reasoning to trick myself that I am not breaking my promise to myself. I am going to include the links to the set of stories about that night. I wrote them in mid-April 2013, so they are new reading for many of our newer friends. I hope you enjoy.  By the way, my heart still starts racing when I think of what happened that night.

https://robakers.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/happy-birthdaypart-one/

https://robakers.wordpress.com/2013/04/15/happy-birthdaypart-two/

https://robakers.wordpress.com/2013/04/19/happy-birthdaypart-three/

 

 

I am going to spend the rest of the day watching the crab grass grow and thanking my lucky stars that Officer Kennedy gave me that ticket.

 

Both Chris, Maury and my neighbors agree. I need to come out and work on the yard. photo from yahoo.

 

Until next time, keep on rockin!

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From → life

11 Comments
  1. Just had to comment…I mean I will when I stop laughing. Sometimes I need a read like this to lift me up for the day. Thanks again for your “insight.” Keep reaching for the clouds. Oh, and Happy Birthday.
    Blue skies, Sandy

    • Thank you Sandy,

      It has been a tough couple of months and I am glad to know that the “fun” Rob is still inside me somewhere. I am looking forward to seeing that guy more this summer.

  2. Happy Birthday my friend! I am glad you are a survivor. Today is my hubby’s 76th birthday! It beats the alternative. I loved this post and thank you for the morning laughter. Much to catch up on, soon. First, you finish your training, and second…. I need you to participate in my research. Painless as watching the crabgrass grow. Email coming soon.

  3. Moi permalink

    I keep telling my husband that you don’t need grass unless you have grazing stock. We have a dog. Sometimes she chews grass to throw up otherwise she spends all her time digging in it to catch some moles, voles or just for the fun of it. My husband complains that he works all day on the grass. Yep, riding that lawnmower is hell. He also pays a lawn service. Our grass is beautiful.

    • Everyone has something and it is good that your husband has a yard boy. My wife has a pool boy but we don’t have a pool. I still cant figure out why he is on the payroll but she seems happy. I guess that is all that matters at the end of the day. Ha ha.

      Thanks for the comment. You are welcome here anytime.

      rob

  4. Moi permalink

    Reading your response reminds me that as I wandered through Versailles I wondered who kept up with, and paid, the 30 thousand people who worked or lived there. We all have burdens. Yours is suspiciously named “pool” boy…..but if it makes her happy.

  5. Great post. Loved it. And happy late birthday.

  6. Sorry, I don’t have a funny quip, but want to wish you a belated birthday. Been out of the blogosphere for quite a few months. My first day back to reading other people’s insights, I went straight for yours. You always bring a smile to my face and something to think about. I did see a funny tee-shirt that read “If I am ever on life support, unplug me. Then plug me back in and see if that works.” I hope that quip will suffice. Take care! And have faith!

    • Welcome back to the world that isnt real and thank you for the honor or being one of your go to sites. That is humbling.

      My wife keeps telling me that she is going to pull the plug on me. I always say that Im not on life support, I am just sleeping.

      Nice to be able to joke about serious things sometimes.

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