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I did good…I survived Eight hours!

March 22, 2013

march maddness

Hey Y’all,

I have a dream. That dream is reoccurring and persistent. The dream ends the same way every time. I leave the field of battle, arms raised, mission complete, the man that every man wants to be and the object of desire to every woman in the world. I find my wife and she greets me like the conquering hero that I am.

Soon after the event, the national media start calling my phone. It rings constantly, annoyed I make a new voice mail instructing the media leaches to contact my agent with requests for interviews. Very soon, I have a book deal, my own reality television show, a national radio show and a film crew follows my every move documenting me for the upcoming release of the 3-D movie that is in the works.


My biggest decision to make in the day is which sports car I will drive to the studio. Ultimately, I ride the limo because my license has been suspended for reckless driving. A hero to the masses, I am called to provide counseling to the President, the Pope and Warren Buffet. Multiplying the success, I buy the Dallas Cowboys from Jerry Jones and turn the team around winning consecutive Super Bowls. Bored by success and the stress of a public life, I retire to Fuji where random topless pictures of me practicing the hula are published by the paparazzi.

Of course this is only a dream because every year, my NCAA Basketball bracket is busted in the first day of the first round. I am a loser. I would like to blame New Mexico and UNLV, but every year someone lets me down. At least the guy who lets me down isn’t staring me back in the mirror. The good news is that I am free to root for Arkansas State and any team who plays Kentucky. Oh yea, ASU didn’t make the NIT and Kentucky is already out. If Coach Cal had any feelings, he would know how I feel.


I don’t want to say that I am rooting for Memphis, because I don’t want my loser jinx to get them. So my most favorite team in the second round is Michigan State. All of my luck and best wishes

From → life

  1. Icabu permalink

    NCAA Div I Wrestling championships (folk style) are this weekend too. As a wrestling mom, I was saddened to see the Olympic committee trying to remove wrestling as a venue – it’s been part of the modern Olympics forever. Maybe the Dake-Taylor matchup will be enough of a spark to restore wrestling to Olympic favor. Meeks, with Oregon State, is doing well at 197 lb. My son’s ex-wrestling club teammate, now with VA Tech, went 2-2 (also at 197 lb) and is out of contention. A different version of March Madness …

  2. I too am upset they removed wrestling from the Olympics. There is no reason for that. It is a great sport, and gives so many people the opportunity to participate in athletics. All weight classes and genders are open to all. I would probably do better picking wrestlers than college basketball.

  3. Well done surviving – even if your bracket didn’t : – ) My March Madness ritual is cheering for any of the Big Ten teams – Nebraska has a ways to go to be in that league – and trying to figure out why there is such crazy feelings for it. I love sports but March Madness drives me crazy – a very short drive!

    • I am not a huge fan of the Big Ten. It is a personal choice, I have nothing concrete to cite. It is just that I have always felt a hint of arrogance that emulates from the Big Ten. The constant mention of the academic standards, athletic excellence, and impeccable history of championships just gets old to a guy who was smart enough to get a scholarship from the school of hard knocks.

      I would never hold any of that against you. You my boy, Chuck! Since Memphis got killed by a Big Ten school Michigan St. and Michigan advanced as well. Indiana looks strong and OSU will probably advance too. Florida can be picked off by Minnesota, and Illinois can beat Miami. Only Wisconsin has lost so far and that was one of the games I picked correctly.

      You guys look good for an all-Big Ten Final Four. Enjoy the day.

  4. Rob,

    Did you see the odds for completing a perfect bracket? Something like 1 in 1 quintillion? Seriously, I had no idea such a number existed. How many zeroes make up a quintillion? Now wonder bookis love the March Madness.

    Phoenix is a dormant college basketball town. Arizona State made it to the NIT, then lost the second round, but nobody seemed to care. We’re the most band-wagoneering city in the country. And many of our residents refuse to root for the Wildacts of Arizona. I do, because I feel sorry for the people who have to live in Tucson.

  5. Big Joe,

    Did you see the odds of me writing a publishable book? Slightly less than picking a perfect bracket. My poor dog, Magic is having a tough weekend. In each game, I pick a team to pull for and then I root with full intensity for said team. I get rather excitable when the ref makes a bad call against my team, and sometimes the emotions escape my outer skin.

    Magic is in tune with me and my moods. She senses when I am tense and she refuses to come inside. Even if it is snowing or raining. During a time-out, I always hug her and try to comfort her that works until the game starts up again. I need to get some Prozac. Not for her but for me.

    Out in your part of the madness, I don’t feel too bad for those who are stuck in Tuscon. I have been there a couple of times and you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a beautiful co-ed. My son can go to school there anytime. I am planning on locking my daughter in the basement to protect her from guys like myself.

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