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I wish I had some friends…

February 7, 2013

christmas program 16 dec 2012 042

Hey Y’all,

I spent the day looking through my contacts in the cell phone. Except for my family, I realized that every friend in my phone is because of the relationship with my wife. My wife is a beautiful, loving lady. She is funny, smart, hard-working, creative, compassionate, and loving. She is a great cook, has a sick obsession with cleaning the house, she is a Registered Nurse, she teaches child birth classes, she is a master gardener, exercises five times a week, she manages the household including the checkbook, volunteers at both Church and school. She loves to entertain, frequently opening the house up to family and friends. She is a great mother and spouse. In short, she is everything I am not.

Looking back on my life, I see that I have only two true friends. Jason, the guy who introduced me to Metallica and Scott, my buddy up the street who owns a Harley and doesn’t put out any Christmas lights. To be honest, Scott’s wife and my wife are good friends, so I don’t think he counts as a true friend and I haven’t spoken to Jason since the last high school reunion five years ago. I am not sure if he counts either. So I assumed that my writing friends are really my true friends. Big Joe, Julie, Eggie, Swifty, Koji, Becca, Jason, Pastor Jack, Harrison, Karlene, Kris, Nina, Jae, Gina, and Ms. Sunny are all on my short list of my best friends in the world. Unfortunately as I have to be honest with myself. I know that y’all are my true friends, until you meet Donetta. Like everyone else, you will be enchanted by her wonderfulness and you will tolerate me in order to revel in her presence.

dr walker

I would like to introduce you all to a woman who makes my ideal wife seem very average. Dr. Jenee Walker is one of the Doctors at the Family Resource Center where my wife works. So, yes Dr. Walker is not my friend, she is a friend of my wife. Donetta started working part time at the FRC about five years ago. The first day she worked, she came home and in glowing terms told me about a lady named Dr. Walker.

Over the years, I have enjoyed the pleasure of spending some time with Dr. Walker. I must say that she is quite simply one of the most impressive people I have ever met. She is a Psychiatrist, who works with both children and adults. Considered the top professional in the state of West Virginia, she is literally booked solid from morning to night, Monday to Friday. Families travel to Charleston from all over the state to get an appointment with her. An appointment with her is like a winning lottery ticket.

Dr. Walker has been married since forever. All three of her children are in college. The oldest is in Medical School, the second has just been accepted to Law School and the third is doing great things at the undergraduate level. It is easy to assume that brilliance runs through her family. Not so fast my friends. She grew up in Compton, California, hometown of famous musicians like Ice Cube, Eazy-E, Dr. Dre, and Coolio among others. To a country boy from Memphis, my only experience about that area is from the movie Colors. The Bloods and Crips fighting it out gang style on the streets of LA. Seems like a tough place to grow up.

Raised from hard working, lower middle class parents, Dr. Walker had the only advantages anyone ever needs. A strong sense of self-worth, an attitude of never quitting and approval to live her dream. Just to fight her way out of that environment is a testament to who she is and the type of people her parents are. She finished as the Valedictorian in high school and attended college on a scholarship. She tells a story of her first chemistry test in college. The Professor handed out the tests from highest score to lowest. She was one of the last to get her test back.

The Professor said “That if she wanted to become a doctor, it was a joke. If she wanted to help people she should be a farmer, and grow food.” Beaten down, battered and bruised by that remark she faced a difficult decision. Keep trying or quit. She found the courage to see the professor after class and told him “That whether or not she became a physician was immaterial, but we all deserve to be treated with respect. Then she promised him that when she got her MD, she was going to lay it on his desk!”

That day she planed the flag of determination into the ground. It was a water-shed moment in her life. She had the audacity to declare that day as her finest hour, her score…36%. That my friends is determination.

We all have those moments. I have them and you have them. Every day is a test, every day can be a water-shed moment. Pastor Jack had one three months ago. My friend Emma has another right this second. It is staring her in the face, for a second time in her life. Her husband Steve has one too.

I don’t know what tomorrow brings. It might bring another opportunity for me to stare down life. Like Dr. Walker teaches, I am not afraid because I am covered in blessings. I live in the blood of Jesus and I know without a shadow of doubt that I will defeat any trial. Don’t think I am tempting fate, I am knocking on wood because I prefer my life to be full of misery like the Direct-TV losing its signal and the hot water running warm. I do not live my life in fear. Dr. Walker does not live her life in fear either. She is strong, powerful, brave, intelligent, beautiful, and loving. I have a secret for you, please don’t tell Dr. Walker. Two years ago when I started writing my book, I loosely based the character of Esther on her.

I highly encourage all of you to check out her website. Here is the link:

Do yourself a favor and find thirteen minutes and watch video #2. Then find another thirteen minutes and watch video #3. Finally find eighteen minutes and watch video #1. She has three posts on her blog, with more to follow. Read those and send her a comment on her e-mail. She is working on a book that hopefully will be finished soon. Ms. Sunny, although it is non-fiction, it might be something you’re looking for. Julie, this lady is perfect for your circle of friends. You need to beg her to do a guest post on your place. Kris, I can’t think of a better expert than Dr. Walker. The rest of us can bask in her brilliant ability to inspire.

Keep Rocking Y’all

From → friends

  1. Rob…true friends are a treasure and hard to come by. I’m glad to be considered among yours, as you are mine. Great post, and when I have an hour of “free” time (HA!), I’ll check out these vids. She sounds wonderful. And when I read about Esther, I’ll have a reference. Thanks for a good article. And although you may have met some people through your wife, I doubt they tolerate you because of her. It’s my bet that they love you just as much.

    • Swifty,

      You are the man. I am proud to know you and I am inspired by your work and life. Thank you for being my friend. Together, maybe we can find success. Like Clint Eastwood says, you have to know your limitations. I know where I am in the pecking order!

      The character of Esther is great, but Dr. Walker is amazing! Find some time and watch, actually all you have to do is listen to her talk. She is not a superwoman, to listen to her tell the stories. We all can do it.

  2. I have to echo Mike’s sentiment– I’m quite convinced your lovable and generous nature attracts people to you.

    The funny thing is, I say the same thing about my husband. He’s very laid-back and easy going. People are drawn to him. I tend to be a little more opinionated and stronger in personality. I always use Jesus as my friendship example: He had 12 disciples and of those, he was closest to 3. I don’t need a big group either.

    Thank you for introducing us to Dr. Walker. I’m going to try and take the time to visit her site and learn more about her. She sounds amazing.

    • Julie,

      I married well. It is appearent when I am out in public with her.

      You will love Dr. Walker. She is a perfect fit for your site and your audience. Like I told Mike, just listen to the Dr. talk. Her voice is so soft, sweet but there is a real power there. This lady is tough and speaks the truth with love and passion.

  3. It took me a bit to figure out who “Donetta” was. 🙂

    And yes, Compton. The city was rebuilt twice due to riots. Tough neighborhood. And for your doctor (and wife’s) friend, that is a testament to her strength. I also had a friend who made it “out”. He lived just within earshot of the Coliseum near USC. He became a Controller for a couple of Fortune 500’s but died in Singapore seeking alternative medicine for his bone cancer. It only happens to good people.

    • Koji,

      Yea, I re-read the post and should have introduced her name much sooner and said that she was my wife. Anyway, thanks for stopping by. Sorry about your friend, the cancer is bad news.

  4. Karlene permalink

    Thank you for sharing with us a great lady! I would love to meet and connect with her. We never can have enough friends. I will go to and listen and comment… when I find those minutes. Wait… they cannot be found. They will be made sometime in the middle of the night when the babies are sleeping. Thank you Rob!

    • I usually dont watch videos or anything that takes lots of time to read. But, Dr. Walker is very inspriational to me. I hope you find that she is worth your time.

      • Karlene permalink

        I love inspiration! Looking forward to it!

  5. Erica permalink

    Yeah, I know the Nigel-no-friends feeling. I watched one of the vids over lunch, and Dr Walker’s an inspiration for sure. She must have worked her behind off, and probably still does.

    Now I’m left wondering: can lazy people achieve greatness? Okay, I know – get back to work.

    • My wife was kind of irritated with me when she read the post. She said that I have lots of friends. I told her the truth hurts, she didnt laugh but I did.

      About lazy people finding success. I believe that it is possible. That is what gives me the power to sit on the couch and watch tv. Why work hard when it will magically happen.

  6. Rob,

    You and I have even a few more things in common.We both are married to RN’s. Dare I add that your wife is the model of the “hot nurse”? I prefer to call my wife the “naughty nurse,” which is what spouses are allowed to call the “hot nurse,” but they are one in the same.

    The other things we have in common is football. You see, you and I definitely “outkicked our coverage” when we married our respective spouses, lending credence to the belief that successful women will marry a man out of pure pity. Lucky us, too bad for them.

  7. Big Joe,

    You are a man who has seen behind the curtain. Yes I outkicked the coverage and yes my wife had a single moment of pity. That single moment has haunted her for almost eleven years now. Ha Ha.

    As cool as most would think it is being married to a hot nurse. I offer this true story for your consideration. I was suffering from a stomach virus a couple years ago. I am a real sissy, especially when I am sick and most especially when I am throwing up. So there I am, on my death bed, sobbing silently and begging for something to make me stop throwing up and go to sleep. My wife is nurse mode, she refuses any medicine because she doesn’t want to mask the symptoms.

    Well, I am convinced that I am going to die. I get dressed and start to leave the house. She asks where I am going and I say the hospital. She grills me once again and I say the magic word, chest tightness. Unfortunately for me, her mom is spending the night with us, I don’t remember why. So her mom can be the adult supervision for the sleeping kids. So off we go to the hospital and she starts investigating my chest tightness more. Five minutes down the road, she yells. “You’re not having a heart attack!” She turns the car around.

    Of course, I know I am not having a heart attack but I want to stop throwing up. Her reply is that, “I haven’t thrown up for 30 minutes and there is no way she will ever let me embarrass her by walking into an emergency room because my stomach hurts.”

    I told her that I would take her to the hospital. Her response was that I didn’t know any better. We still laugh about that night, well she laughs and I know the truth. Nurses have no sympathy because they have been around people who are really sick. By the way, I was asleep about 20 minutes after she got me back home. The next morning, I was fine. She was right.

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