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Walking the Dog…

August 5, 2014
woman 1

There are just too many cameras today. You cant have any fun anymore and that takes the fun out of fun. Photo from yahoo.

 

Hey Y’all,

Another busy week just got busier. But before we get to the breaking news, I have to clear something up. Last week my phone started blowing up with texts. All the comments were along this line.

“Dude, is that you?”

“Walking the mama again?”

“You are just not right.”

“How does it feel to finally be treated like the dog you are?”

Totally clueless, I asked what my friends from around the nation were talking about but none of them were kind enough to fill me in on their secret. I am one of those people who gets 99% of their news from the internet. I usually read the Drudge Report headlines and maybe once a day I will click on a link but most of the time a quick scan of the headlines is more than enough information for me. Last week there was a link about a woman walking her nude husband like he was a dog.

http://www.azcentral.com/story/news/weird/2014/08/01/woman-walks-naked-man-leash/13467293/

I didn’t click on the link just assuming that it was another crazy couple in San Francisco or Portland. Turns out the perverted couple was from West Virginia and all my perverted friends were checking out the link. Even worse they assumed that I was playing the role of a dog.

 

woman

It wouldn’t be so bad if she looked like Christy Brinkley. Just being honest. Photo from yahoo.

 

For the record, that was not me and this woman is not my wife. I don’t judge because we all have something and goodness knows that I am not above doing something stupid. But, I would like to address this fine couple. Come on man! You can’t keep that in the privacy of your own home? West Virginia has a bad enough image without you people. Please, don’t help us out anymore.

 

Now that the issue has been properly addressed. Breaking news, I have been offered the Head Coaching position for my son’s flag football team. Once again, I will be leading the Red Wolves into battle and putting my undefeated record on the line. Last year, I guided the Red Wolves to a 9-0 record. Of course, this league doesn’t keep score but why get bogged down in the details. I’m looking forward to it and will keep you updated as the season rolls on.

 

woman 2

I got to start practicing yelling at the kids. “Are you eyeballing me boy?” “I said 240/water/grass/club/comedy/341 on 2. Are you stupid? You ran a 240/air/dirt/drama/341. Don’t ruin my perfect record.” or maybe this. If you are going to act like a first grader then go sit by your mama. Oh you are a first grader? Then act your age, not your shoe size.” Photo from yahoo.

 

 

woman 3

Don’t forget yelling at the referee either. “Do you have money on this game?” or “Come here four eyes.” or “This is upward football, one step below the NFL. You better earn your paycheck, you stripped zebra.” Photo from yahoo.

 

Finally, I got a couple of veteran articles to pass on to you. The victim from the last article is Dave Weddington, former C-130 Flight Engineer, neighbor and good friend. This is a two part article. Hope you enjoy.

 

DSC_0874

That Dave Weddington is a sexy beast. Photo from Rob Akers.

 

http://www.herald-dispatch.com/news/putnam/x720303001/Glancing-at-veterans-colorful-military-career

http://www.herald-dispatch.com/news/putnam/x228395124/Vets-career-signifies-home-is-more-than-just-being-a-West-Virginian

I need to get busy designing plays for the team. Like last year we will be running a modified version of a pro-style, veer with elements of the west coast and a vertical passing game. We will be going no huddle again this year so those kids better be in the books. And I don’t mean school books.

 

woman 4

I am putting the finishing touches on my own statue to sit outside the bedroom window. Photo from yahoo.

 

Until next time, keep on rockin.

From → life

4 Comments
  1. You are busy, but it sounds like lots of fun!!!

    • Abby,

      It will be fun but it adds to an already over scheduled life. I’m not sure how things got so busy but they are there now. All is well and life is good. Thanks for saying hi.

      • If you ever figure out how life gets so full so fast, let me know. I have a flower bed project that I started in the spring and well it’s still waiting to get done. Things just get busy busy.

      • So it is your fault that the summer has been so cool. If you had just planted the flowers then we could have postponed Global Cooling. I am sure the people in Hawaii wish that they had reminded you to plant those flowers. Hurry, get them in the dirt before the oceans freeze. Ha ha.

        By the way, I don’t mind a little cooling in the summer and warming in the winter. Makes for a nice balance.

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