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Champagne wishes and Caviar dreams…

July 28, 2014
rich 10

I don’t know who this cat is, but I like his attitude. Photo from yahoo

 

Hey Y’all,

 

My ship has come in, all of the problems have been solved. I am going to buy my baby a new pair of shoes, and the drinks are on me. I got paid!

 

rich 1

All expenses paid trip on the Titanic. Who wants to go with me? photo from yahoo.

 

I don’t just mean paid, I mean paid for my words. I have officially lost my amateur status, and the next step is Hollywood, New York, and London. No more waiting in line like a schmuck, no more housework and no more wishing for the good life. That’s right baby, I’m talking swimming pools and movie stars.

 

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Just a summer cottage. Photo from yahoo.

 

My next stop is to be with the rich and the beautiful, partying like a rock star, hanging out with Lindsay, Paris, Miley and Jay-Z because I just joined the social elite.

 

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This guy is rich and famous. Proves the fact that no talent is required. I will fit in well. photo from yahoo.

 

Don’t think I am going to be one of those empty headed stars either. I have got to have an agenda. Right now I am vacillating between insect’s rights or railing against the conspiracy that flossing your teeth is good. Yes it is a myth propagated by big corporations so they can sale more wax string. Now that I think about it, I will go with both. Live your life, be happy, drop the fly swatter and the floss.

 

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If the rich people eat a thousand dinner a night, there must be a lot of bulimia going on. All for a good cause. photo from yahoo.

 

I have already put a down payment on my second house, a new Ferrari, a new wardrobe of designer white tee shirts, and a face lift.

 

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Black, white and pink are the only colors I need. Everyone has a red one, I can’t be a boring rich guy like everyone else. photos from yahoo.

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Speaking of face lifts: “What do they call a modified 757? Joan Rivers, new skin, old bones. photo from yahoo.

 

Finally, you all should know that I will be moving on. I can’t associate with the little people any longer. It isn’t personal, but I can’t have followers. I am toying with the idea of retaining you all, but at a greatly reduced status. I think you all should be at a higher level than worshipers. I am leaning towards call you all subjects. I am going to reserve the term follower for the paparazzi. Anyway, it has been nice hanging out with you guys, but since I am big time now. I just don’t have the time.

 

rich 2

Did you notice that most of the paparazzi are taking pictures of someone approaching to the left? Do these people have no respect for the celebrities posing? I will probably lash out and throw a fit if this ever happens. photo from yahoo.

 

All of this is in good fun. I have a long way to go until I am that guy. But you might want to think about sucking up now, so that I might act like I know you later. Ha ha. Thanks for reading and hope you had a good laugh.

 

paycheck 001

Hard to read, but the amount is FIFTY dollars. That’s right suckers. I am FIFTY dollars down the road to being somebody. My wife asked if I was going to frame it. I said “Nope, I’m going to cash it!” photo from my scanner.

 

Until next time, keep on rockin.

 

 

 

 

From → writing

5 Comments
  1. Thanks. Refreshing to read a little comedy from time to time. They say that if you can make people laugh, they will beat a path to your door!

    • Thank you WS for stopping in. There are so many opportunities to be serious in our lives; I thought it would be nice to poke a little fun. And who better to poke fun at than myself?

  2. Rofl!!!! Great fun. Congrats on getting paid…now get back to work! ;-)

    • Thanks Abby,

      It was fun to see something hit the mailbox that wasn’t a bill. Since 1995, it is the most money I have earned doing something other than sitting in an airplane. Yes, it might have been on fifty dollars but it is infinitely more than anyone has paid me to be a guest blogger. Life is good!

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